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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27903991">Logs, Ghostbur, and not-so mild insanity</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ximyai/pseuds/ximyai'>ximyai</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>AN APPLE HAS FALLEN ONTO THE PRIME LOG, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Death, Depression, Hallucinations, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Insanity, Lads on tour, No Beta because I have No Friends, Self Harm, au where ghostbur was a hallucination the whole time, confession time i cried while making this, i also didnt porof read, kinda gorey?, logs, lonelyinnit, tommy insanity arc go brrr, woah look the author is projecting on their work (again)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 18:06:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,469</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27903991</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ximyai/pseuds/ximyai</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Tommyinnit isn't entirely sure where he is. Wheres tubbo? He asked the logs, but they don't know either.</p><p>Trigger Warning for implied suicide, self harm, hallucinations, blood, and insanity.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>No Relationships</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>60</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>392</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Logs, Ghostbur, and not-so mild insanity</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>haha tommy insanity arc go brr :)</p><p>anyway i felt like from the beginning that this exile would be different, i figured tommy would prolly go insane but prolly not wilburs type of insane. no, already his insanity has been with him acting insane and then laughing and saying hes not okay so now we are HERE :)))</p><p>tw for implied suicide, self harm, and hallucinations, and blood (incase you didnt read the tags or summary for some reason)</p><p>never trust the smile :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The logs can talk. They tell me things. I ask them questions. Logs are actually pretty wise.</p><p>Oh, i'm so thrilled that my friends are here. I thought they left me to die with Ghostbur! But they wouldn't do that of course. Friends don't do that to friends! </p><p>Wait, what are friends again?</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Don't think about the world around you, Just think about log.</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Don't think about the world around you, Just think about log.</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Don't think about the world around you, Just think about log.</em> </strong>
</p><p>"Ghostbur, what do you think about logs?"</p><p>"I love Logs! But Tommy, i am a bit-"</p><p>"No! I know you're worried, but look! We have Logs!!"</p><p>Oh I'm so thrilled, I tell the logs. I'm so happy Tubbo came back for me. I'm so thrilled!</p><p>I've gotten tubbo some bees, and some flowers, and he's happy to! I even made quackity some drugs, I can't wait to give them to him! Niki wanted some things to bake with, and who am i to tell her no?</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Don't think about the world around you, Just think about log.</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Don't think about the world around you, Just think about log.</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Don't think about the world around you, Just think about log.</em> </strong>
</p><p>My arm aches a bit though. Must be the cuts. But that's completely fine! Tubbo told me it was a good idea! He said the pain would help with all the things going on, and of course i'll listen to him! He's my tubbo! WHy would he tell me to do bad things? He's so smart, isn't he? He's absolutely brilliant!</p><p>Who's Tubbo? Where is Tubbo? The logs don't know. I'm not sure either. A name. What was the name? It started with a "P" and it feels like a memory.</p><p>Oh i almost forgot! Techno told me told to do something important tonight! But what was it? I don't remember. Maybe Phil will remember though! Oh, Big man Phil, he so smart, He'll surely know!</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Don't think about the world around you, Just think about log.</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Don't think about the world around you, Just think about log.</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Don't think about the world around you, Just think about log.</em> </strong>
</p><p>I remember now! He said not to eat! Because If i eat, i stay alive. I don't want that! Who wants that? Oh, technoblade is so great. Such a nice guy. Or pig</p><p>Whats a pig? That's strange, Wheres Wilby?</p><p>Wilby and Techy, they said they'd keep me safe! And they do, they're right here! And Philza! And Niki! And Big Q, Fundy, even Gogy! And how could I forget my right hand man, Tubbo! He's right here!</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Don't think about the world around you, Just think about log.</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Don't think about the world around you, Just think about log.</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Don't think about the world around you, Just think about log.</em> </strong>
</p><p>The logs tell me that it should be tonight. I should do it tonight. If I do it tonight, I get to go back to L'Manberg with my friends! Tubbo said it himself, if I kill myself tonight I get to go home! Oh, I can't wait to go home! Logsted is nice, but L'Manberg is my real home!</p><p>What's L'Manberg again?</p><p>Philza will hand me the sword! Phil always knows what's best for me! He's so smart, always listen to Philza! The blood is getting on my clothes now, which is a shame. I didn't want to show up back home covered in blood! But Techno says it makes me look tough. Oh Yeah, im getting all the women now!</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Don't think about the world around you, Just think about log.</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Don't think about the world around you, Just think about log.</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Don't think about the world around you, Just think about log.</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Don't think about the world around you, Just think about log.</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Don't think about the world around you, Just think about log.</em> </strong>
</p><p>What's a Technoblade? What's a Philza? Why can't I remember? The logs won't tell me.</p><p>"Don't worry Tommy! It's almost done, then we can go home!" Tubbo's happy voice makes my chest hurt more. He sounds so happy! I want him to be that happy forever! I want what's best for him, always! He's my Tubbo after all! And if this makes him happy, I'd die as many times as I need to. As long as Tubbo is at my side, i'll live forever!</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Don't think about the world around you, Just think about log.</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Don't think about the world around you, Just think about log.</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Don't think about the world around you, Just think about log.</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Don't think about the world around you, Just think about log.</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Don't think about the world around you, Just think about log.</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Don't think about the world around you, Just think about log.</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Don't think about the world around you, Just think about log.</em> </strong>
</p><p>Forever! And ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ev-</p><p>Oh, everything is going black now! Brilliant! It's finally time!</p><p>"C'mon Tommy! Let's go home."</p><p>Of course Tubbo! I can't wait to go home...</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <strong>---(tubbo pov)---(5 hours later)---</strong>
  </span>
</p><p>"Alright, we're here! This is where Tommy lives." Quackity called out to the other boats.</p><p>"Are you sure? It's far too quiet for it to be where Tommy lives." Niki said, looking worriedly at Eret. "Well he lives alone, so it's bound to be more quiet.." Even I knew that wasn't true. It's Tommy! But im sure hes fine. </p><p>I'm sure.</p><p>"Tubbo? You good?" </p><p>"What? Yeah, im fine." I say with a smile. A smile might just calm the unease that's currently trying to make me vomit my small breakfast of cooked chicken.</p><p>As soon as we docked i knew something was very, very wrong. They were right. There is no noise besides the rustle of the wind and the birds in the trees.</p><p>The unease is thicker than lava around us all. It's deafening, suffocating. I could drown in it if i wasn't careful.</p><p>"Yeah, something is definitely wrong." I hear Techno say from behind me. He runs in front of me, Phil not far behind him.</p><p>"Tommy?!" They whole group is calling his name, running around searching desperately. 10 minutes later, he's not in the dirt hut Dream built, and he's nowhere to be found. And still, not a word.</p><p>Niki comes running up from the mine, panting. "He's not down there. Do you think he-" Her voice breaks, and tears begin to stream down her face.</p><p>"Guys I found him! Hes asleep over here!" I run in the direction of Quackity's voice, desperate. God, i just need to see that he's alive. I just need to know that I haven't made the world's biggest mistake.</p><p>"Tommy? Tommy!" I dash up to him. Oh god, even asleep i'm just happy that he's-</p><p>Blood. There's dried blood on the grass, an incredibly terrible smell coming from where he's sleeping-</p><p>I scream. Louder than I ever have. I feel myself crawling away from the sight in front of me but I don't feel real. This doesn't feel real. This isn't fucking real.</p><p>He isn't sleeping, I realize as I look at the tears streaming silently down Techno's face. He's dead, I realize, as i hear Niki's terrified sobs from somewhere behind me. He's never coming back, I realize as Phil pulls the dead Tommyinnit into his lap, stroking his hair, Phil's tears mixing with the blood on Tommy's face.</p><p>I realize something else too.</p><p>I have made the world's biggest mistake, I realize as I gaze upon the poorly carved wood carvings of all of us. There's one of me, with a bee leashed to the statue's poorly carved hand. A statue of Niki with baking supplies all around her. One of Philza. Techno.</p><p>Wilbur, with a carved guitar leaned against him.</p><p>And a small, blood covered book.</p><p>I pick it up despite the screams of shock. My friend's words are fuzzy. I can hardly hear them.</p><p>As I gaze at the blood covered pages, tears begin to stream down my face. soaking the blood-splattered pages. There are full pages of nothing but my best friend telling the book everything that he did for his friends today. He talks of "Ghostbur," and of doing whatever he can to make it up to his friends. About how he wants to earn their forgiveness.</p><p>He talks of how his friends are back, how he's so happy they're back, and how they have such good ideas. </p><p>And how one of those brilliant ideas is death. He talks of how <strong><em>I</em></strong> told him that if he died <em><strong>I</strong></em>would let him come home.</p><p>But I wasn't here. It was his own imagination. </p><p>I sob harder than ever as I pocket the book. </p><p>
  <em> <strong>I have made the world's biggest mistake.</strong> </em>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Don't think about the world around you, Just think about log.</p><p>tommy depressed insanity is going to be my new favorite thing probably</p><p>AGGHEGHGEHGEHGGGGGANAPPLEHASFALLENONTOTHEPRIMELOGAGHGHGEHGEHEGHWILBURIWANTTOEATITTTHAHHAGSHGASHHHHHGGGGGGGGAAAGAGGGGGHHHHH</p></blockquote></div></div>
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